Thursday, November 20, 2014

1st day without facebook felt like a week

before sunrise
Hello fellas! I’ll be really quick today, no kidding! I had the longest day ever today! I’ve done so many things, work out, gave people my attention, had awesome talk with my aunt, vacuumed the house, we celebrated my grandma’s 80 Birthday, I had an afternoon nap, went for two walks – watched the sunrise and sunset, baked apple muffins, and now I’m even writing the post. With very sleepy eyes!
I guess that happens if you quit facebook. The day that feels like a week, because you make time for so many things!

So I’ll just leave you with the pics from my morning walk - it was like the sun came up just for me – and wish you a good night!

And also, go check out my shop! I uploaded bunch of awesome handpainted tote bags and scrunchies! 3 Ptice (3 Birds) are waiting for you!

***

Pozdravljeni! Danes bom res hitra, brez heca! Imela sem najdaljši dan vseh časov! Naredila sem toliko stvari, telovadila, namenila ljudem svojo pozornost, imela super duper pogovor s teto, posesala hišo, praznovali smo babičin 80. rojstni dan, privoščila sem si popoldanski spanec, šla na dva sprehoda – gledala sončni vzhod in zahod, spekla jabolčne mafne in zdaj celo pišem objavo! Z zelo zaspanimi očmi!
Zgleda, da se to zgodi, če pustiš facebook. Dan, ki se zdi kot teden, ker imaš naenkrat v dnevu čas za toliko stvari! 

Tako, zdaj vas puščam s fotografijami mojega jutranjega sprehoda – zdelo se je, kot da se je sonce vstalo samo za mene – in vam želim lahko noč!

Ja, pa poglejte še na 3 Ptice, en kup finih totic in gumic za lase sem naložila v trgovino!

blue morning sky
hemp field leftovers
trees
morning clouds
misty morning magic
the sun came up, yay!

Monday, November 3, 2014

Magic words and dr.Nature

železniški most Ptuj

Took this pic in the morning. I just love misty autumn mornings.

Woke up early just to have more hours in day to feel shitty. Tried to heal myself. Felt more and more depressed in attempt to do so. Decided to meditate. Fall asleep in five minutes. Still felt like shit.

Then I said magic words. Fuck it. I feel like a looser. Fuck it. I feel fake. Fuck it. I don’t feel like it. Fuck it. Everything sucks. Fuck it. Other people know it better. Fuck it. I feel stupid. Fuck it. Life is not fair. Fuck it. I’m a victim of myself. Fuck it. I am probably crazy. Fuck it. Life has no meaning. Fuck it. 

Time to visit dr.Nature and let the Beauty suck me in.

I took a real big apple and camera and went for a long walk with my dog. Said fuck it to everything that came to my mind. I laid down in the grass and watched blue sky. My dog went all crazy and playful, so we ran around on the top of the hill  I took off my scrunchie and let the wind play with my hair.

Then I felt like me again. Free. I started appreciating my life again. I’m free. All is good.

* * *

Zgodaj sem se zbudila, da je imel moj dan več ur v katerih sem se počutila kot drek. Poskusila pozdravit mojo psiho. Kar me je privedlo do tega, da sem se počutila še bolj depresivno. Se odločila za meditacijo. Zaspala po petih minutah. Se še vedno počutila kot drek.

Nato pa sem izrekla magične besede. Fuck it. Počutim se kot zguba. Fuck it. Počutim se fake. Fuck it. Do ničesar mi ni. Fuck it. Vse je bedno. Fuck it. Vsi vedo vse boljše kot jaz. Fuck it. Neumno se počutim. Fuck it. Življenje ni pravično. Fuck it. Žrtev same sebe sem. Fuck it. Verjetno sem nora. Fuck it. Življenje nima smisla. Fuck it.

Čas, da grem obiskat dr. Naravo in pustim, da me Lepota potegne vase.

Vzela sem res veliko jabolko ter fotoaparat in z Mufijem odšla na dolg sprehod. Rekla fuck it vsaki misli, ki mi je prišla  glavo. Zleknila sem se v travo in gledala modro nebo. Mufi se je hotel igrat. Pa sva se lovila po vrhu hriba. Razpustila sem si lase in prepustila vetru, da se igra z njimi.

In sem spet začela čutit samo sebe. Svobodo. Spet sem začela cenit življenje. Svobodna sem. Vse je v redu.

when stressed

rdeč plašč

divja trta

hrib Mestni Vrh

pot na hrib  zen dog[2].jpg

gorice

zahod

krošnje

letalo

hribi in večerne meglice

selfie

mufi

What works for you when nothing seems to work?

Kaj pa tebi pomaga, ko se zdi, da nič ne pomaga?

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Worrier –> Warrior –> Joyier

if you don't go, you don't have a story, quote tote
Hello, people! Long time no hear! But I’m still alive and kickin’ it. Or not.
I have quite of a rollercoaster lately. Few hours of euphoria per day and few hours of depression and ‘what the fuck is wrong with me?!’. Blues blues blues.

You know, 3 Ptice will celebrate 2 years this Friday! And I fell in that lousy trap of thinking where I should be in two years and thinking what I did wrong, because I’m not there yet (found 100 reasons). Also, the money situation got a bit tight, I was having such a ball of fear and dissapointment in my stomach. + Thinking if I should continue with 3 Ptice or I should quit everything. Which I don’t want to. I was on the edge of tears quite often.

Pozdravljene, Ptice! Dolgo se nisem javila na blogu. Ampak sem še vedno živa in v elementu. Ali pa ne.
Zadnje čase sem spet bila na enem vlakcu smrti. Zelo gor, zelo dol. Par ur evforije in par ur depresije ter ‘kaj za vraga je narobe z mano?’. Blužnja, blužnja, blužnja.

3 Ptice bodo ta petek praznovale svoj drugi rojstni dan! In jaz sem zapadla v to bedno razmišljanje, kje bi že morala biti v dveh letih in kaj sem vse delala narobe, da še nisem tam (našla 100 razlogov). Pa še s kešem je začelo it bolj na tesno. Imela sem tako kepo strahu in razočaranja v trebuhu. Pa še vso to razmišljanje, če naj nadaljujem s Tremi Pticami ali naj vse ukinem. Česar si ne želim. Ja, kar pogosto sem bila na robu joka.
clouds, view from Rogla
Thanks God for my dear Mr. Boyfriend! What a man! He was listening to me and hugging me and giving me bunch of awesome advice, things I needed to hear! + He is finally taking some steps towards his dreams and he talks so joyfully about them, thinking aloud about which steps should he take first… And he is telling me, that he’s inspired to make something on his own because I did! He was really such an inspiration to me this past days. And a healer. He is that person in my life to whom I don’t have to prove anything. He loves me the way I am (most of the time :P) and this helps me to go back to loving myself the way I am. And when I love myself the way I am, I’m in the flow and I enjoy life. And you know that good things are happening when you enjoy life,don’t you?

Hvala Bogu za mojega dragega Jureta! Kakšen moški! Poslušal me je in me objemal in mi dal kup odličnih nasvetov, točno takšne, kot sem jih morala slišat! Pa še on je zdaj končno začel delati korake proti uresničitvi svojih sanj…in tako radostno govori o njih, na glas razmišlja, o vrstnem redu korakov. Pa še meni govori, da sem ga navdihnila, da si tudi on želi naredit nekaj svojega. Res me je navdihoval te dneve. In zdravil! On je ta oseba v mojem življenju, ki se ji ne rabim dokazovat. Ker me ima rad takšno kot sem (skoraj vedno :P) in to me potem vodi k temu, da se imam tudi sama raje takšno kot sem. In ko se imam rada, sem v toku in uživam življenje. Saj veste, da se nam dobre stvari dogajajo, ko uživamo življenje?
open
So, yes. I am resolving my need to prove myself to myself, to my family, to people who believe in me and to those who don’t, especially to those, hah. Yes, I figured out how much under pressure am I because of this. And it is robbing me of joy and actually puts the success out of my reach.

Tako da ja, razrešujem se potrebe po tem, da se želim nenehno dokazovat. Sama sebi, svoji družini, ljudem ki verjamejo v mene in tistim ki ne (še posebej tem, hah). Ja, res sem ugotovila, kako sem pod pritiskom zaradi te potrebe, da se že enkrat dokažem. In to me potem ropa užitka, s čimer še samo bolj tiščim uspeh stran. vintage pattern
I was at yoga yesterday (actually, it’s a mix of yoga, tai chi, dancing, meditation…) and we did a little meditation while lying on the floor, opening our heart and solar plexus chakra with a visualisation. My visualisation was so vivid and joyful at the heart chakra, but when we came to solar plexus, it became quite hard to imagine, I couldn’t really imagine yellow (3rd chakra is yellow and it’s center of our personality). So much fear, complexes and trusting issues in this area. And then the coach came to me and she started to release the pressure of this area with her magic hands (she is also a masseuse). Oh my! It hurt so much! If I wouldn’t already believe that mind, emotions and body are connected, I would start to. I was just saying let it go to myself, it’s safe to let it go. And when she was done, I just lied there, crying. Those tears of letting something that no longer serves me out. These are such blissful tears.

Včeraj sem bila na jogi (no, pravzaprav je mešanica joge, tai chija, plesa, meditacije…), kjer smo malo leže pomeditirali in z vizualizacijo odpirali svoje srčne in trebušne čakre. Ko smo bili na srčni čakri, sem si vse tako živo predstavljala, tako je bilo fajn! Ko smo pa šli na solarni pleksus, pa je vizualiziranje naenkrat postalo bolj težko, sploh si nisem mogla prav predstavljat rumene barve (barva tretje čakre je rumena, ta čakra je center naše osebnosti). Toliko strahov, kompleksov in težav z zaupanjem v tem predelu! In potem je prišla vaditeljica in mi s svojimi magičnimi rokami (je tudi maserka) začela sproščat ta trebušni predel! O bog! Kako je bolelo! Če ne bi že verjela, da so um, čustva in telo povezani, bi začela! Samo sem govorila, da puščam, da to odide, da je varno, da odide. In ko je končala, so se mi samo vlile solze. Tiste solze, ko tečejo, ko se nekaj sprosti. To so takšne fajne solze.
 blogger bun
(3 Ptice handpainted canvas tote bag, vintage shirt, DIYed shorts, Deichmann sneakers) (3 Ptice ročno poslikana totica; vintage srajca, predelane kratke hlače, Deichmann čevlji) 

I feel so much more like me today! And I also got a new order, for which I know I’ll enjoy big time in the process making it.

I read in Napoleon’s Hill book, Think and Grow Rich, that suceess comes to those who are aware of it. And when I focus on my successes, which I have quite a few under my hat, I feel successful and somehow the opportunities are falling in my lap and I am back to that joy of life, joy of work, joy of bein my own boss.
So, yes, on my to do list is creating a subpage with all my successes and collaborations. Not only to bragg :P, but also for me to appreciate, how far I come. From not knowing anyone in my kind of biz and nobody knowing me.

So, to sum it up, I’m making this shift from worrier and warrior to joyier! (That’s not even a word, but making up new words is such a source of joy for me!) It requiers lots of awarenes, but even enlighted masters must take every step with awareness, ain’t so?  Awareness is what makes them enlighted.

Danes se počutim toliko bolj kot jaz! Pa še novo naročilo sem dobila, za katero vem, da bom zelo uživala v procesu ustvarjanja.

V knjigi od Napoleona Hilla, Misli in postani bogat, sem prebrala, da uspeh pride k tistim, ki se ga začnejo zavedati. In ko se jaz osredotočim na svoje uspehe, ki jih imam kar nekaj pod kapo, se tudi počutim uspešno in priložnosti začnejo prihajati v moje odprte roke, in jaham ta val radosti bivanja, radosti dela, radosti tega, da sem sama svoj šef. 

Ja, na moji to-do listi je podstran tukaj, na blogu, kjer bojo zbrani vsi moji uspehi, sodelovanja. Ne samo za to, da se važim :P, ampak predvsem za to, da začnem sama cenit, kako daleč sem prišla. Od tega, da nisem poznala nikogar in nihče ni poznal mene.

Torej, da potegnem črto. Delam na prehodu od osebe, ki nenehno skrbi, kaj bo in tiste, ki se nenehno bori, do osebe, ki preprosto uživa v poti. Jap jap, tole zahteva veeeliko zavesti, ampak tudi razsvetljeni mojstri delajo korake z zavedanjem, a ne da? Zavestnost je tisto, kar jih dela razsvetljene.
 swing
And what are you going through lately? Which new way of being and living are you trying to implement into your life?

In kaj se vam dogaja te dni? Katere nove načine bivanja, življenja, se trudite vnesti v svoje življenje?

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

2. Dvoriščna razprodaja na Ptuju | | 2nd secondhand sale in our town

Hi!

These are pictures from the second secondhand sale in my co-organisation. In the house of Fürst in our little town of Ptuj (the oldest city in Slovenia, btw) That’s one of my favourite projects, currently! I said to one awesome gal, if we will make this. She was for it! And that’s now our thing. It’s great! I meet new people, I am forced to go out of my comfort zone and I do good for other people, nature and I also earn some money when I sell stuff that I no longer wear or use. It’s so awesome to see, how happy are people with their purchases, it’s awesome, when sellers turns the stuff that no longer serves them into money. It’s awesome, when something that no longer fits me or my style, becomes favourite piece of someone else. Meeting new people and exchanging love and money, is there anything better?

Dvoriščna razprodaja na Ptuju. Fürstova hiša. Trenutno plac št. 1 na Ptuju za umetnost, kulturo, povezovanje. Eni super punci, Lei Kolednik (na facebooku jo najdete pod Mami Kreativka (vsak bi si želel tako mamo)), sem v začetku poletja predlagala, da bi midve to naredili. Bila je za. In sva. To je bila zdaj že druga dvoriščna razprodaja. Nameravava jo furati enkrat na mesec. Bistvo je v tem, da se stvari, ki nam ležijo po hiši in ki jih več ne uporabljamo, so pa še dovolj dobre, da bi jih želel uporabljat kdo drug, spravijo v obtok. Prodajalci tako nekaj zaslužimo, kupci pa dobijo čudovite stvari, ki so jim pisane na kožo, po super ceni. Zakon je! Spoznavam nove ljudi, grem iz cone udobja (npr. deljenje letakov in vabljenje na prireditev ne kaj preveč zainteresiranih dijakov – čeprav verjamem, da ko se bo zadeva razširila med ljudmi, da bodo začeli prihajat v veliko večjih količinah in kapo dol vsem tistim pogumnim dijakinjam, ki si upajo priti med ne tako poznane ljudi, bravo punce!), delam dobro za naravo in ljudi in mimogrede še nekaj zaslužim, ko prodam stvari, ki mi več ne služijo. Res je zakon, ko vidimo ljudi, kako so srečni svojimi nakupi, zakon je, ko vidim, da so prodajalci zadovoljni. Zakon je, ko postane stvar, ki je jaz več ne uporabljam, ker ne paše na moje telo ali k mojemu stilu, najljubši kos od nekoga drugega. Spoznavanje novih ljudi in izmenjava ljubezni ter denarja, je še kaj boljšega?

smile

Remember her? Se je spomnite?

Fürstova hiša

sellers

La grande familia. This mum, Natalija (on right) makes awesome mosaics, btw. | | La grande familia. Mama od teh punc, Natalija (na desni) dela čudovite mozaike

CPU

Predstavnik Centra ponovne uporabe (pred kratkim se je odprl tudi na Ptuju, jaz sem že ulovila en čudovit klobuk)

horse

stylish shoes secondhand

Stylish gal selling stylish stuff! | | Stylish punca, ki prodaja stylish stvari

dogs

What would life be without dogs? Don’t wanna imagine that | | Kakšno pa bi bilo življenje brez psov? Ne želim si predstavljat.

gals

Young, smart and beautiful! | | Mlade, pametne in lepe

mr. boyfriend

Mr. Boyfriend, came to check if I need anything. He is the best! | | Jure <3 Prišel pogledat, če kaj potrebujem. Najboljši je!

it's me, bitchez

I and my thangs! | | Jaz in moja stojnica

Janja

Happy customer with bags full of clothes for her nephews | | Zadovoljna Janja z vrečkami polnih oblačil za njene nečake

Lea Kolednik

This awesome gal, Lea, co-organisator, with her new (someone else’s old) cardigan, that suits her like it was custom made for her only | | Ta čudovita punca, Lea, soorganizatorka, s svojo novo (od nekoga staro) jopo, ki se ji prilega, kot da je bila narejena samo za njo

victory

sweet tooth

Sweet tooth (bio lollypops, good for health, no worries people) | | Sladkosnedi (bio lizike, dobre za zdravje, brez skrbi, folk)

badass

Sara, total badass in her new light coat. In the evening she said she can’t get over her best spent money in last few months. Me happy | | Sara, totalna kulerka v svojem novem suknjiču. Zvečer mi je napisala, da je še kar pod vtisom najbolje zapravljenih evrov v zadnjih mesecih

she takes no shit

family

Secondhand sales are awesome for young parents! | | Stvari iz druge roke so super izbira za mlade starše!

typo

Typo. | | Se zgodi.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

“When you give another person the power to define you, then you also give them the power to control you.” - Leslie Vernick

Life.Style.Fun.

Hello birdies! These pics were taken back in August on one very happy day. I just felt so much inner peace and happiness and how everything is alright.

Well, at the time when I’m writing this, I feel inner piece, but it’s mixed with ‘not everything is alright’. But I’m determined to change this.

Pozdravljene, ptice! Te fotke so nastale v avgustu na en zelo srečen dan. Takrat sem čutila toliko notranjega miru in veselja, tisti občutek, ko veš, da je čisto vse v popolnem redu.

No, medtem, ko to pišem, čutim notranji mir, ampak se mi meša z občutkom, da ni čisto vse v redu. Ampak sem odločena, da bom to spremenila.

deichmann shoes

I just got through emotional breakdown one hour ago. I had a huge fight in my mum. You know, that kind of fight that happens once every few years and you got an excuse, that you are teenager. Well, I’m not. But I still live with my mum and she pays for almost everything. Which gets me in a submissive position, kind of. And when I want to set my boundaries, it comes to an explosion. My mum it’s not in an easy position, I know that and appreciate all her efforts, but she doesn’t understand, that me, being an entreupeneur, working from home, don’t always have time and that I have my schedule too and things to do in my day. And that when I get distracted by someone or something, I need some time then to get back on track and focus again on work. That’s why I don’t like getting distracted. And so in the morning came a change of plans and she asked me if we are going to to city, because we have to buy something important (wood burning stove – the winter is coming). And so I said, ‘Okay, let’s do that quick, I have work to do’. Wrong choice of words. “Do you think I have nothing to do?” she said. And so the fight begun. You don’t wanna see my temper, when I get so angry as I was. You know that hysterical anger that comes from deep pain? When all that years of frustration in me came up - frustrasions of my family not respecting my time and seeing my work almost as a hobby, frustration, because she doesn’t listen to the end when I speak, even though I tell her that I’m not attacking her, I just want to tell how I feel and how I function! Gosh, not a pretty picture. And after all that I wanted to apologize for saying bad words to her and that I got so upset, but she interupted me once again and I couldn’t stand it, I went away and hystericaly screamed and cried as a hurt animal. If I would watch someone else in that position, I would say ‘Stop the drama’, but I couldn’t, it hurt too much.

Then I went to the air and even I felt all this pain, I felt some kind of inner peace and determination. Even though I would usually in such situation be just overwhelmed with guilt for being such a bad, ungrateful daughter. I’m sure there must be something good in all this. And I think the quote I just saw at facebook sum it:

Pred eno uro sem se čustveno zlomila. Z mamo sva imeli velik spor. Tiste vrste, ki se zgodi vsakih par let in tvoj izgovor je, da si še najstnica. No, jaz nisem. Ampak še vedno živim z mamo in ona plačuje skoraj vse. Kar me nekako postavlja v podrejeni položaj. In kadar želim postaviti meje, pride do eksplozije. Moja mama ni v lahkem položaju. Tega se zavedam in cenim njen trud. Ampak ona se ne zaveda, da čeprav delam od doma, to ne pomeni, da imam skoz čas, ne zaveda se, da imam nek urnik, plan za stvari, ki jih želim narediti v dnevu. In da ko me kdo ali kaj zmoti, rabim potem spet nekaj časa, da se naravnam nazaj na delo. In zato ne maram motenj.

Zjutraj prišlo do spremembe v planu za danes in mama me je vprašala, če greva v mesto, ker morava kupit novo peč za drva (zima prihaja), ki jo imava mimogrede že izbrano. In ji rečem “Okay, če greva, greva zdaj takoj, ker imam še veliko za delat potem”. Napačna izbira besed. Takoj in delo, ojoj. “Kaj misliš, da jaz nimam nič za delat?” je vzela osebno. In tako se je začel prepir. Ne želite si videt mojega temperamenta, ko se tako razjezim, kot sem se skozi ta prepir. Poznate tisto histerično jezo, ki pride iz globoke bolečine? Ko so vsa ta leta mojih frustracij butnila ven – frustracije, ker moja družina ne spoštuje mojega časa, ker gledajo na moje delo, ko da je to samo hobi, frustracije, ker me nikoli, ko ji želim povedat, kako se počutim in kako funkcioniram, ne posluša do konca in se vedno začne branit z napadom – o bog, to ni bila lepa slika! In potem sem se malo pomirila in se ji želela opravičit za grde besede in ker sem se tako razburila, pa me je spet prekinila.  Tega nisem mogla prenest. Šla sem stran in jokala in kričala kot ranjena žival. Če bi gledala koga drugega v tem položaju, bi rekla ‘Daj nehaj z dramo’, ampak nisem mogla, preveč je bolelo.

Potem sem šla na zrak in kljub temu, da sem čutila ta težka čustva v sebi, sem čutila tudi nekakšen notranji mir in odločnost. Čeprav bi, po navadi, po čem takšnem bila preplavljena z občutki krivde, ker sem tako slaba, nehvaležna hči. Prepričana sem, da je bilo to za nekaj dobro. In mislim, da ta citat, ki sem ga potem videla na facebooku, to lepo povzame – “Danes je tvoj dan, da opustiš stvari, ki ti več ne služijo”. 

today

(via The Master Shift)

And it’s time to let go of my shame and guilt for not having it all figure out, it’s time to let go of frustration, because I still live with mum and it’s time to let go of this codependent relationship, it’s time to stop being dependent of my mother. I’m grown up. I choose to let go this fear of losing my mothers love, if I’m not a perfect daughther. It’s time for me to see, that I can survive and live from love I have in my own heart.

Yes, I think something wonderful will come out of this.

Do you have something to share? I will apreaciate your feedback, your insights. Let me know in the comments!

And thanks for letting me share my dark side.

P.S.: I will add new stuff to my shop this week ;)

 

In čas je, da opustim moje občutke sramu in krivde, ker še nimam vsega porihtanega, čas je da opustim to frustracijo, da še vedno živim z mamo, čas je da opustim to odvisno razmerje, čas je da neham bit odvisna od nje. Odrasla sem. Izbiram, da opuščam ta strah, da bom zgubila mamino ljubezen, če ne bom popolna hčerka. Čas je, da sprevidim, da lahko preživim in živim od ljubezni, ki jo imam v sebi.

Ja, mislim, da bo nekaj čudovitega prišlo iz tega.

Si želite kaj podeliti z mano? Cenim vaše povratne informacije in vaša spoznanja, pustite komentar!

In hvala, da lahko z vami delim svojo temno stran.

P.S.: V petek je izšla nova št. 3 Ptice Navdihovalnice – moj projekt, pri katerem lahko z evričem na mesec podprete mojo vizijo dela, v zameno pa dobite dozo navdiha (iskren uvodnik, z njim povezan citat, ki ga lahko takoj natisnete in daste na steno, mandalo, ob barvanju katere se sprostite, naredi-si-sam postopek, pa še kakšna akcija za 3 Ptice izdelke pade). Da vas hitreje prepričam, pa vam podarim 2.št. Navdihovalnice, ki si jo lahko snamete na tej povezavi ;)

happyif you dont go you dont have a storylegs in the airshoes in the sky finding balancejumplaugh   

(3 Ptice bag; New Yorker top and leggings; Deichmann shoes, Varius necklace) (3 Ptice totica; New Yorker majica in pajkice; Deichmann čevlji; Varius verižica)

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